Better Than Me
by psychicfiredemoness
Summary: A songfic about Hiei and his mate who he left for certain reasons. It begins to get to him. Based on Better Than Me by Hinder. Please R


Psychicfiredemoness: Howdy ya'll!

Alex: You make me sad woman!

Hiei: Hn.

Psychic: My username tells me Hiei feels the same.

Alex: Your user…what the hell does that mean!?

Psychic: That I'm psychic, duh. Alright this is my first attempt at a songfic, I hope everyone likes it. It is based on 'Better Than Me' by Hinder. So I own nothing, please enjoy.

**Better Than Me**

_I think you can do much better than me  
After all the lies that I made you believe_

Hiei woke early in the morning as usual, dull strips of orange light filtering in and spilling onto his futon. It was empty now aside from him. Merely a week ago his mate would have been there beside him. But she wasn't, not since he had intentionally driven her away from him. She was his weakness and he didn't need any weaknesses.

_Guilt kicks in and I start to see  
The edge of the bed  
Where your nightgown used to be_

He felt the cold spot beside him and found himself staring at the empty space, lost in thought of her. He shook his head of the thoughts, trying to tell himself that he didn't need her and that she shouldn't be missed.

_  
I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remember  
What it feels like beside you_

Despite what he tried to tell himself he lay back down and rolled on one side, staring at the spot and extending his arm over the bedding. He closed his eyes and inhaled the air; a slight smell still lingered around the bed. It was somehow burnt with a slight tropical smell to it; probably her shampoo. His eyes shot back open and he glared at the bedding, gripping it tightly in his fist.

_  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes_

He sat back up and got out of bed, throwing on his shirt and pants tying them up with several belts. He refused to miss her, refused to want her back. He wouldn't, he wanted her away and to be happy somewhere else. He wondered if he should have told her that was the reason he ended their courtship instead of having told her she was just in the way as he repeatedly told himself over the past seven days.

_  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me_

He stalked towards the door throwing his cloak around his shoulders. His foot kicked on something and he looked down. A small shoebox laid there, its lid slightly ajar. He bent down and lifted the lid; several small papers lay in there along with a few photos. He realized she must have left it behind when she left the temple.__

While looking through your old box of notes  
I found those pictures I took  
That you were looking for

He picked up one particular photo with a small rip at the top, as though she'd meant to rip it in half but hadn't the courage. Just a small photo of the two of them; she was smiling happily for once, no sadistic urge behind it, and a small pleased one graced his own features as he stood next to her. He set the picture down in the box once more and closed it, shoving into a corner of the room.

He tried to remember how long ago that had been, when they'd been happy together like that. He couldn't recall the day but remember where the picture had been taken; it was at that large human building with dozens of smaller stores clustering its walls and in a small photo booth. Four other pictures had been connected to that one he'd just seen. The first was when she'd pulled him into the box; he was irritated in that one, while she looked nervous. The next was the one from the box. Third she had pecked his cheek with a blush on her face a shock crossing his. Next she had been laughing. The last picture he'd bent over against his better judgment and pushed his lips to hers.

_  
If there's one memory I don't want to lose  
That time at the mall  
You and me in the dressing room  
I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remember_

He stood back up and left the room striding down the hall and left the large complex. He headed down the stairs at a quick pace intent on entering the city despite the worthless humans that were bound to litter its streets even at this early hour. The memories that picture, that one trivial paper, had brought him flooded his mind as he now walked through the city, passing buildings more quickly than an ordinary human should have seen.

_  
What it feels like beside you  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me_

He thought she deserved better, that she shouldn't have to be his weakness; but she hadn't been the same since he'd hurt her. Working together had forced contact between the two and he had not once seen her smile or laugh.__

The bed I'm lying in is getting colder  
Wish I never would've said it's over  
And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older  
Cause we never really had our closure  
This can't be the end

He no longer cared that he 'thought' she deserved better. She'd been happy with him and he'd been happy with her. He knew how he had hurt her had been a cowardly move and he planned to redeem himself.

_  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me_

He reached her home, the large building taking up too much space in the small suburban area. There was movement from inside, someone small moving around behind the window of the living room. He approached the door and knocked firmly, almost daring her not to answer the loud noise.

_  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me_

The door opened slowly to reveal the demon; her eyes were slightly bloodshot from either tears or insomnia he didn't know and the blonde hair was down and unkempt. She stepped out of the house and closed the door.

"What do you want Hiei?" she asked dully.

In a quick movement he'd pressed her to the door, lips crushed to hers and arms wrapping tightly around her body. He pulled back just slightly after a moment leaving her to pant and blush, her hands clinging to the front of his cloak so he wouldn't leave her again.

"You," he whispered to her leaning his head to hers before kissing her again.

_  
(And I think you should know this)  
(You deserve much better than me)_

'Even if you deserve better than me,' he thought.

**End Chapter**

Psychic: I hope that wasn't too abysmally terrible.

Alex: Yay!

Hiei: Hn. (Red)

Psychic: You know you liked it Jagan-boy, you know, aside from feeling bad for leaving the woman you love.

Hiei: She's hardly a woman.

Alex: Hey!

Psychic: Please review everyone.


End file.
